How to Say NO!

Dating Advice for Urban Christians

When it is the time to say ‘No’ to a person whom you don’t like, you feel it really tough. Sometimes, a prospective partner wants you take the relationship further, but you don’t want to. If you fail to say ‘no’ right now, the task becomes difficult later on. Leaving that person later on may not become possible. So, it is important to learn not only how to love but also how to leave.

Be Clear In What You Say

If your date wants to see you again after the first date, clearly tell him/her about your feelings. But do it in a polite and direct manner. Thank your date for a nice and lovely evening. Also, make it clear that you’d rather not take the situation any further. You have to be persistent before he or she gets the message.

Be Sensible In Dealing

If your date puts pressure on you to tell the reasons why you not prefer a go out with them, you need to be very tactful in dealing with such situations. You may need to be rude if your date is horrendous; in this case you might close the deal in the beginning itself. But, if your date is not bad and just not meeting your criterion, you need not be rude.

Give An Honest Explanation

When you say no, don’t try to blame yourself or the other for the breakup. You may do it to convince the other person and avoid hurting him or her. Instead you can give some honest opinion or explanation. Simply say, “I don’t think our relationship works well”.

Don’t Make Offers That Won’t Work

When you make offers be sure that you keep them. Otherwise they cause embarrassment to the other person. If you say, “I’ll phone you” or “We will meet again”, your date will be full of hope and expectation. If you never call again or meet again it will let him/her down. Also, don’t give a false phone number. It’s better not to give a number at all.

Don’t Overreact

If your date responds badly to your rejection, don’t overreact. Your date might get hurt with your rejection and send you a long email pointing your faults or sends a rambling phone message. Don’t think he or she is reflecting badly on your character. Be cool and try to understand the situation. End It In A Polite Manner

Even after your rejection ff your date continues to send text messages or mails, reply in a neutral, polite way. If the emails still continue, ignore them. The same can be done with phone calls. You can answer the first one in a polite way, but you need not answer any subsequent calls.

Reject Friendship Hand

If your rejected date says he or she want to be your friend, politely decline that offer. Most of the times it is an attempt to renew your relationship. Remember – dating is meant to find a partner not a friend. But if you feel that the other person is genuine you can think about that option.

Just follow the above advice on how to say ‘no’ to your dating partner and end any relationship with a happy note with no trauma later on.

Recommended Reading

 

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
Manual J Smith PHD

To date over 2 million people have bought this book and learned how to say No without feeling guilty. A great book that will help you get the most out of life by teaching you techniques for being assertive.